RAW Review: Orton's Wife Can't Act Edition:
Alright this is my first RAW review in awhile and the main reason for it is that RAW has been segment heavy over the past four weeks. The feuds with Trips/Taker, Miz/Cena/Rock, and Orton/Punk have been similar every week too. Trips and Taker have took turns talking each week. Meanwhile Orton has punted a different New Nexus member every week for FOUR straight weeks. Miz has attacked Cena FOUR straight weeks with Cena and Rock alternating trash talk per week. However the Jerry Lawler/Michael Cole has delivered every week with great segments. First there was Cole insulting Lawler's mother, Lawler challenging him, and then when confronted Cole throwing water in his face. The next week Jack Swagger was introduced as Cole's trainer and the week after that Steve Austin stunned JBL before he could sign on as referee and then signed himself before dumping beer all over Cole. However all of that was topped by last week's segment where Lawler's son Brian Christopher showed up and insulted 'daddy.' Then Jim Ross showed up and Swagger and Cole attacked him and Lawler. Great stuff every week. The only other things of note were the Sheamus US Title win over Daniel Bryan and the Snooki match which should be a trainwreck. However it's time to rip into this week's RAW:
-Starts off with Jim Ross' theme music and Michael Cole came out dressed as JR with barbeque sauce, a cowboy hat, and a taped ankle as well as a pillow under his shirt for a stomach. After taunting Lawler he ran and hid in his Cole Mine.
-Triple-H came out and did another bland, boring promo hyping his match against Taker with the same lines he's been saying over and over for three weeks now. Ted DiBiase came out, said what everybody is basically thinking about him nowdays, and then proceeded to get destroyed before Trips Pedigreed him through the announce table. Pedigree spot was good, everything else was horrible garbage.
-Sheamus beat Evan Bourne in a short match with lots of big moves. Then Daniel Bryan came out and challenged him to a rematch for the US Title which Sheamus accepted after a Brogue Kick cheap shot. I liked the cheap shot and the fact that Bryan is going to be competing in this first Mania match.
-Orton interviewed by some new guy outside of his tour bus. He said he's joined the Millionaire's Club and the New Blood is going down...just kidding. He said he's liked bringing his family on tour on the road with him.
-Eve beat Maryse in a match highlighted by Maryse's body and Cole getting on a live mic and running down the match. After the match Eve tried to kick his ass but Cole's protective bodyguards kept her away from him and the Cole Mine.
-Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater beat Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov in a short interference plagued tag team match. Post-match saw Big Show and Kane come out to save Marella and Kozlov from the Corre's 4-on-1 beatdown. Didn't the Corre learn anything from Carlito and Masters back in 2006? You don't piss off Kane and Big Show.
-John Cena then did an okay serious promo at "home via satellite" which is clearly BS because Miz did the same thing last week.
-Michael Cole promo time with Jack Swagger guarding the announce table to keep Lawler from doing anything. Cole was given Lawler's family album by his son Brian Christopher last week and Cole showed pictures while making fun of Lawler's family for being a bunch of losers. Lawler got pissed and was stopped by Swagger but knocked him down. Lawler chased Cole in the ring and then out to the floor before being clotheslined down by Swagger. Cole runs into the Cole Mine. Swagger then rubs Lawler's face into the side of the Cole Mine as Cole runs him down with verbal rappage on the other side! LOL THIS WAS GREAT! Swagger grabs Lawler into the Ankle Lock and then Cole comes out of the Cole Mine to put him in the Ankle Lock with Swagger's encouragement. THIS WAS GREAT! This whole storyline is the best thing on WWE television right now. No, I don't believe it either. Other than anytime The Rock has done a promo this has been the best stuff on RAW.
-Cole apologizes for what he did after the break. LOL He's such a liar. He's coming across like a cowardly chickenshit eighties heel.
-Snooki video package with ANNOYING dance music.
-John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler quickly turns into Morrison and Trish Stratus against Ziggler, LayCool, and Vickie Guerrero. This was good until Vickie pinned Morrison. EXCUSE ME?! I said Vickie pinned Morrison. EXCUSE ME?! Tell me I didn't just see that. What horrible booking. The only reason for it could be to set up a Mania revenge angle with Snooki vs. Vickie.
-They did a Taker/Trips hype video that put them both over but yet only Arn Anderson, Harley Race, and Booker T's appearances interested me at all. They're overhyping this match and making it seem bigger than everything else on the card when it's just a repeat of ten years ago at Mania X-Seven in Houston.
-Short Randy Orton versus Rey Mysterio match that ended with a Rope Hung DDT by Orton before CM Punk shows up outside of his bus and says "I can't wait to meet your wife." This was a CLEAR set-up for an ambush but Orton ran outside to the bus like Sir Gallahad. Orton arrives at the bus only to get hit in the leg from behind with a wrench. Orton's wife opened the door and screaming in the most overly dramatic fashion possible. Punk tells her to stop screaming and to shut up. She closes the door of the bus and Punk kicks Orton as she looks on concerned, then fixed her hair, and then stood there like a zombie watching Punk. Punk blew a kiss at her and then she went to check on Orton before yelling for help in the most unscared manner possible. This was worse than Troll 2...WORSE!
-Alex Riley, rehired as Miz's VP of Corporate Operations, introduced Miz. Miz then ran down a list of former World Champions and said he was the greatest World Champion ever. He turned the WWE logo on the mic upside down and then unveiled the Spinner Belt with an upside down WWE logo. Said it stood for Miz. Didn't like this at all. Seemed kind of pointless to me. Cena appeared on-screen and gave another stupid borderline Ludicrous Annoying promo before revealing he was actually at the show...yeah, didn't see that one coming. Yet another predictable angle on this show. Cena came out and fought both Miz and Riley. He soon gained the upperhand before repeatedly putting Riley in the STFU as Miz contemplating coming to the ring before finally leaving as the show ended.
Didn't like the show. The Cole/Lawler stuff was great, as usual, and the unintentional hilarity of the Punk/Orton and Wife were the highlights but the rest of this show fell flat. Too many short matches and predictable angles killed this show.