Superman Returns Review:
To go with the Superman theme of the evening I'm going to review Superman Returns starring Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Parker Posey, and Kevin Spacey. Let the running commentary begin.
Running commentary -
Starts off with a written backstory that says when an astronomer finds the remnants of Krypton in space Superman disappeared.
I like that they used the original music for the opening credits of this movie.
Starts off with an old woman dying in a mansion. She signs her will leaving him everything. IT'S LEX LUTHOR! She dies and he finishes her signature, lol. He whole family is waiting outside of the room and are glaring at him. He takes off his wig and walks out with his minion the maid.
The earth shakes at the Kent Farm and a meteor crashes into the field. Martha drives out there and finds Clark Kent.
Lex Luthor is such a great villain.
Lex: "Gods aare selfish beings that float around in little red capes and dont share their power with mankind."
Lex and his goons go to the Fortress of Solitude. Lex is there to find out information about everything related to Superman.
Great flashback scene of Clark as a boy jumping over the entire corn field and learning he can fly.
LOL at Clark throwing a tennis ball and it going so far the dog doesn't know where it went.
Clark goes back to work at the Daily Planet. JIMMY OLSEN!
Clark sees Lois on the TV and then sees she got the Puliter Prize she always wanted but it's for 'Why the World Doesn't Need Superman. He also finds out that Lois is engaged and a mom. This is a good angle.
Lex's scheme is to grow continents using the crystals.
Lex tests the crystals on a model trainset town. There's a blackout throughout Metropolis. The power even goes out on planes in the sky. AWESOME scene in Lex's lair with the ceiling and floor cracking.
The boosters aren't working on the space shuttle demonstration. This should be good.
THE PLANE IS STILL ATTACHED TO THE SPACE SHUTTLE!
Superman now racing to the rescue.
Superman detaches the space shuttle and tosses it into space but the jet aircraft is on fire at the same time. This is getting good.
AWESOME PLANE FALLING AND FALLING APART SCENE! Superman racing to catch it and finally does before it lands in the middle of the baseball stadium. He sets it down without it crashing. No one can believe he's back. great scene starting from the moment Lex started his experiment.
WHOA! THERE'S CRYSTALS ALL OVER LEX'S LAIR!
Clark meets Lois' son Jason. Lois of course is more worried about the blackout than Superman.
Jilted lover Lois is mad because Superman didn't say hello.
This Lois Lane sucks. She has no personality unlike the original Lois.
Superman turns into a stalker...he's a peeping Tom like George McFly.
Oooo...Richard asks Lois about her interview 'My night with Superman' and asks if she is in love with him. She says everyone was but then he left. Good scene.
Superman in space listening to everything going on in the world before going into hero mode.
Great scene where Superman gets shot at by a chaingun and gets shot in the eye but it does nothing to him.
Another great scene where Superman saves Lex's girlfriend in a car with no breaks which is a diversion so Lex and goons can steal some Kryptonite from a museum.
The news reporters have a meeting and Jimmy brings up talking with Lex Luthor which Lois likes. Jimmy tells Clark that Lex got out of prison because Superman didn't show up to Lex's appeals hearing.
The kid realizes Clark is Superman and has an asthma attack, LMFAO. The grown ups are such tools. A kid could figure out in two seconds what they haven't figured out in years.
Richard and Lois talk about Superman. Richard ponders if Clark is Superman but then they laugh about it. Idiots.
Superman and Lois have a chat on the roof about why he left. Superman takes her on a flight. He tells her he hears everything and people say they want a savior everyday.
Getting sick of these overly dramatic Superman flying sequences.
LOL at everyone's reaction to Lois coming back in and realizing she was with Superman but Richard thinks it was about smoking.
Superman goes back to the Fortress of Solitude and realizes his crystals are missing.
Lois and her son Jason go to where the blackout started and find a yacht. They find wigs and she realizes it's Lex Luthor's boat. The yacht starts moving and he sees them.
Jason: "You're bald." LOL
Lex wants an interview since they have free time. Clark and Richard team up to track her down. Lex tells Lois his plan to build a new continent using the crystals. He shows her the Kryptonite and realizes that Jason is afraid of it. She tells him Richard is the father and asks if she's sure before bring the Kryptonite closer.
Kevin Spacey is EXCELLENT as Lex Luthor in this movie. He's BY FAR the most interesting character.
Jason playing piano and Lex's goon joins him as Lois sneaks in a fax to the Daily Planet.
Lex fires the Kryptonite Crystal missile into the ocean and it starts to create a crystal landmass.
Lois is caught by the goon and gets roughed up as Jason has an asthma attack. Suddenly the piano is pushed into the goon. JASON DID IT! HE'S REALLY SUPERMAN'S KID! The other goons find them and lock them in the metal kitchen.
Superman springs into action as the crystal landmass heads toward Metropolis.
AWESOME scene where Superman stops the Daily Planet's logo structure from falling onto the ground.
GREAT visual of the crystals sticking up through the ocean.
Richard shows up to save Lois and Jason just as crystals come up through the hull of the ship.
The ship starts to sink. This is a wild scene.
Superman saves them after the ship goes completely underwater and takes them to Richard's ship.
Superman arrives on the crystal continent Lex has created and confronts him. It's too late before Superman realizes that the continent is made of Kryptonite.
Lex and goons start beating up Superman since he's weakened by the Kryptonite.
LEX STABS HIM WITH A SLIVER OF KRYPTONITE AND BREAKS PART OF IT INSIDE OF HIM! HOLY CRAP!
Superman falls off the edge of the crystal landmass and into the water.
Lois, Richard, and Jason save him and pull him onto Richard's plane. They barely get out on the plane.
Lois pulls out the sliver of Kryptonite and throws it off the plane. Superman then goes back to confront Lex.
Cue more overly dramatic flying sequences and...GO!
Superman flies into the Earth's crust. The ground starts shaking on the crystal landmass and Lex and goons scamper for the helicopter to escape. Only Lex and Kitty make it out alive. Kitty loses the crystals on purpose just before they escape.
HOLY CRAP! SUPERMAN IS PUSHING THE ENTIRE LANDMASS INTO THE AIR!
The crystal pieces fall off and the Kryptonite pieces are exposed now. As they keep growing Superman gets stabbed by them just before tossing the landmass out into space.
Cue overly dramatic falling sequence.
Superman falls to the Earth and lands in a crater in the middle of a park in Metropolis.
Superman taken to the hospital. The Daily Planet has two headlines, one says Superman is Dead and the other says Superman is Alive on it.
Richard decides to take Lois and Jason to the hospital to see Superman. They go in to see him. Lois starts talking to Superman even though he's unconcious and tells him that Jason is his son before kissing him.
Lex and Kitty are stuck on a small island in the middle of nowhere because they ran out of gasoline.
Doctor goes to check on Superman but he's gone. He's at Lois' house to check on Jason as he sleeps. He tells him sometimes he'll feel like an outcast but he'll never be alone. Says Son becomes the Father and the Father becomes the Son. Same lines his father said. He leaves before Jason wakes up. Lois starts to smoke but is stopped when Jason says goodnight to Superman.
Cue overly dramatic flying sequence to end the movie.
3 1/2 out of 5 stars. Too many overly dramatic flying scenes for my taste. However I did like Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, the Superman being gone for five years storyline, the Lois Lane as a mom storyline, Jason as Superman's son, and the crystal landmass formation scenes. What I didn't like were the constant flying Jesus scenes, the no personality Lois Lane, and the boring characters scattered throughout this movie.